Many adults with ADHD go undiagnosed for many years, which means they’ve grown up facing criticism throughout their lives. Unfortunately, the types of negative messages we have endured can stay with us for a very long time.
From time to time, these memories can resurface and lead to insecurities creeping in that maybe we aren’t capable. Maybe we aren’t good enough. Doubting ourselves and our abilities.
We all face times where we lack in confidence and maybe don’t feel good about ourselves. But when it starts becoming a long-term problem, it can really affect our daily lives and our health. So, here are some ways on how to find your inner confidence when living with ADHD.
Challenge your inner critic
Don’t be afraid to challenge the negative feelings and beliefs about yourself. Maybe your inner critic is telling you that you can’t do something because you’re ‘too stupid’.
Why does it think that?
When did these feelings start?
Is this an old memory?
Start thinking, or maybe even write down things as evidence that goes against these negative feelings. Maybe you’re really good at puzzles. At problem solving. At fixing things. Read and reread these positive things about yourself.
Write down some more positives
As well as making a list of positives and things you’re good at, what about the good things that people have said to you in the past? Have you ever been told what a good friend you are? How you’re kind, caring, considerate? Maybe you’re great at making people laugh? Maybe you’ve received a nice note or email from someone showing gratitude towards something you did?
Once you’ve made your list, keep adding to it and rereading it whenever you’re feeling these negative feelings bubbling up.
Another way to build on this positivity is using affirmations. Affirmations are short positive statements or words that are designed to change our behaviour, habits and thinking patterns. These positive words are designed to motivate and influence our minds into a positive way of thinking.
Here’s an example…
‘I deserve to be happy right now.’
Boost it’s power by drawing or journaling about what happy looks like – our brain is hard wired to respond to imagery (visual or sensory).
Set yourself up for a win
Sometimes even a small win of something we’re good at can really help to improve our mood. Maybe you’re an amazing painter or a baker. Paint a picture or bake a cake and post a snap online. The feedback you’ll receive from friends and family wowing at your amazing talents will give you a boost of confidence.
Do something outside of your comfort zone
When you’re lacking in confidence, this can seem like an impossible challenge. But doing something outside of your comfort zone can give you a massive boost in confidence once you’ve done it. Set yourself a goal to do something just outside of your comfort zone – even if it’s just something small and note how it makes you feel when you achieve it.
Start saying no
People who lack in confidence can often find it very hard to say no to things. They don’t want to risk upsetting people or letting them down. When you carry on saying yes to everything, aside from being bombarded with more to do, you start to feel anger and resentment, leading to more negative feelings.
Be kind to yourself
Are you as critical to your family and friends as you are to yourself? The chances are you’re not. So, start looking at yourself differently. Think of yourself as a friend. How would you treat them, talk to them look after and support that friend? We are often much kinder and gentler to others than we are to ourselves. Give yourself a break and be gentle and kind, especially when you’re having a low day.
If you want to find another gentle but effective way at reducing these negative feelings and boosting your self confidence, then please do get in touch. My sessions are tailored to your needs and are designed to help you find acceptance of where you are but also find ways to guide you into a more tranquil and happy place. To find out more, you can contact me by clicking here, or if you’re ready to take action today, book in for your assessment consultation. Don’t forget it comes with my money back guarantee!